Thankful
Photo by Ann on Unsplash
It’s the first week of November. I was in a store recently, and Christmas decorations merrily greeted me as I walked in the door. I love Christmas, I love the meaning of Christmas, and I love decorating for Christmas, but I struggle with the way it is so easy to jump straight from Halloween to Christmas, skipping over Thanksgiving. So, over the next few weeks I would like to share with you some things for which I am thankful.
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I am thankful for community. If I were asked for just one piece of advice for those going through breast cancer, it would be don’t go it alone. Don’t even think about it - especially you fiercely independent ones out there - yes, you! We all need community. Community is risky. It can mean making ourselves vulnerable; opening up and sharing. It may not seem fair that the patient should have to do the work of taking that first step, but how is anyone to know you are out there?
Your community does not have to specifically be a cancer support group, but there are advantages. You will find people who have been down a similar path. While not replacing your physicians’ advice, you may gain insights on topics that you didn’t think to bring up at a doctor’s visit. You won’t find people wondering why you haven’t moved on; they all know this isn’t like the common cold where you get better in a few weeks and forget it ever happened.
There were several reasons I didn’t join a cancer support group my first time around. Some of my reluctance was just the time it would take in the midst of caring for two young children. I knew that I was “too young” for breast cancer and I would be the youngest in the room by decades. I can’t say if I would do it differently if given the chance - times and technology have changed so much. We as a culture are more open to talking about subjects that were, in the past, only whispered at the kitchen table. That is not to say I was alone. I had my extended family, neighbors, and people in my faith community all coming alongside me.
This time around, we were in the middle of a pandemic. My life consisted staying home to try to keep healthy when not at medical appointments. My husband and I stayed connected with our now grown daughters who each lived in cities that were pandemic hotspots. We asked them not to come home, even though they desperately wanted to, because we didn’t want the chance of contracting the virus to hinder my treatment. We stayed connected to them with now very familiar technology, along with extended family, neighbors, and people in our faith community. I have even been able to connect with some support groups where now, ironically, I am usually the oldest in the room!
Each support group has its own flavor, its own specialty. Sometimes we try on a community, and it’s not a good fit. That’s okay; this is the time and place to make sure your needs are being met. I encourage you to step out, take the risk. I’m guessing you will soon find yourself being thankful.
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Dear readers, please feel free to share below in the comments section ways that you have found to be thankful in trying circumstances. Hopefully our words will be an encouragement to each other.